(Via Marshall Davis)
My first day in a Southern Baptist church was 2 weeks after I was born. I was always a bit shaken when I saw how emotional people got at certain times, but I was always bit more calm than anyone else. I stopped going to any services when I left home – I always had something more important to do. I went to my old church for my best friend’s wedding, and all my great uncle (a deacon) said to me was that I needed to cut my long hair. I never went back. When my sister started studying Wicca, I tried to find a religion that was internally self-consistent – the closest I came was Buddhism, which I found as more of a philosophy than a religion. I got bored of staring at walls (meditating) so I forgot the whole thing. I wanted to find a Wiccan get-together, as I have heard they have some wild parties, then I found the Jacksonville Atheist Meetup and went and found I was an atheist and among friends. 
(Via Pete Rosenberg)
Well, over the last couple of weeks I’ve been making a serious effort to ‘come out’ as an atheist. Granted, my status on myspace and whatnot has said ‘atheist’ for ‘religion’ for years now (prior to that I was agnostic, so there was absolutely no response to that change.) But back to the present (or at least recent past) when I told my mother (A Universalist Unitarian) she was unsurprised and mentioned that many of the people at her congregation (I hesitate to call it a ‘church’, because of the negative connotation that bears) were also atheist. Again, no drama, no negativity. When I mentioned it to my father, (a retired Navy Captain) I did so by saying “I think my own atheism stems from my childhood appreciation of nature, all the outings, and the David Attenborough documentaries that I loved so much.” His response was “I like the documentaries too. I wouldn’t say I loved them, but I definitely enjoyed them.” I should perhaps, mention that my father, although a successful navy officer of 30 years, was known to be somewhat of a loose cannon, even going so far as to tell the captain of his ship (when he was XO) that the ship was ‘godless’, and when I asked him whether he was indeed Atheist, (because of his intense dislike of Christianity) he said no, he’s more of an Agnostic. Either way, he has the same dim view of organized religion as do I, and he seemed quite cheerful for the rest of that conversation (which I take to mean that he approves.) The only negative responses I’ve gotten (aside from some random fundamentalist on Tagged who got pissed when I responded to her ‘Jesus saves’ tags with a quote by Thomas Jefferson on how Christianity was the most perverted system.) were from my GF and her daughter. My GF (a Wiccan) was just annoyed because I’ve been very noisy about the whole affair, and she does, after all believe in a supreme being, the afterlife and magic, and I embrace the concept of ultimate mortality and reject the supernatural, and was kinda going on about that. The daughter was just annoyed because I’ve been noisy and I’m dating her mom. Which brings me to the ultimate reason that I’ve gotten very little in the way of response: I don’t have christian friends. (except maybe my sister) Most of my friends are Wiccan, and really don’t care that I don’t share their faith, as long as I don’t try to preach lack of faith to them. Of the rest of my friends and family, well, my best friend is Buddhist, and again, doesn’t really care, my youngest sister is agnostic, and the older of my sisters, (still younger than me) while nominally still christian, (she became so while dating a fundamentalist christian in high school) hasn’t been to church in years, and with the lack of a support structure (and in the light of her own substantial intelligence, and the sceptical view of the rest of us), her faith has withered. She never, however, was dogmatic (My father would’ve responded pretty harshly to that) and was in a much better position to understand what an atheist or agnostic REALLY is.
Anyways, that’s my story. I guess I kinda drifted away from it. Anyways, now I’m gonna go order some shirts and hats and wear them around town (including to the local walmart) and see what happens. It’ll be an adventure, ’cause I live in Pahrump, NV (a particularly odious little hick-town).
(Via Poodles)
Sometimes memes can give you some motivation to write about something that should have been written a long time ago.
I think deconversion stories are important. I think they can be helpful to those rolling on the edge of atheism, scared or uncomfortable to take those last steps. The internet is a great tool for people looking for like minds and helpful information; I wish it had been around when I was reverting back to my birth state of atheism.
So, since I am “slow like that” sometimes, here is my story of losing religion.
I was born an atheist, in a catholic hospital here in Salt Lake City. Shortly thereafter I was taken to New York, where my family is from, to be baptized into the Catholic Church. I have godparents and all. My mom has never been baptized anything, my grandmother is a non practicing Episcopalian, and I don’t know what my father was. I grew up going to church with my Italian grandfather. I was a very good catholic. I went to church, I went to catechism, I studied hard, I passed my tests and I did my first communion. I sang in the choir (really I can’t sing, I kinda feel bad for them for that). I said my prayers every night “now I lay me…” and I paid the money my grandfather gave me to put in the basket.
During my youth, since my mom wasn’t stuck on one religion she let me go to Sunday school and church with my Mormon friends sometimes too. That was one religion I always found loony, but entertaining.
Around the time I was to start preparing for my confirmation I had mostly stopped going to church. Pretty much because I was too lazy to spend my Sunday doing that.
When I got to high school in the late 80’s I had a friend who began asking me about the Catholic Church. He became interested in converting to Catholicism and he wanted me to help him. I knew this meant I would need to get confirmed. I began that road, it included a lot of reading, including, finally the bible, cover to cover, not because the church wanted me to, they really didn’t, but because it was important to me. Somewhere along the way, I started reading the road signs. Not the big jesus billboards they want you to see, but the little sticks with the mile numbers on them. I finally had to tell my friend that I wouldn’t help him because I couldn’t be catholic any more, it didn’t make any rational sense.
I then began a search to find out who and what I was. I went to many churches and studied many different religious texts. Not a one of them struck me as “real”. I continued my journey on into college, pretty sure by this time I was an agnostic at least.
In my last years of high school and early college, I fell in with the “Goth” crowd. We went to the local “Goth” hang outs (The Ritz, The Palladium and others). There my journey took me on a tour of Wiccan. My best girlfriend is a witch. I have spoken of her here. In the end though I thought that crap too. My best guy friend is a gay return LDS missionary, nothing like a little diversity.
During college, part of my studies included history and how it related to theater. That got me turned on to studying how religion and history related to each other.
I finally got it.
I knew I was an atheist by this time, and I finally got why. It was like a huge light bulb had been turned on. I understood why we have religion and how it was once a necessary evil that helped people try to explain the unexplainable in the only way they knew, but that it was never real or true. Now though, we know how the sun rises and how earthquakes occur, I am still in awe at how religion is still so important in our society, and continues. Money and power perhaps.
I met my husband my last year of school. We met at a birthday party for a mutual friend. We had nothing in common, except we cared for each other. There were two things I had to be clear with him from the beginning if ours was a relationship that would work, I was an atheist and wouldn’t change that, and I didn’t want children and wouldn’t change that either, so if he had a problem with either of those he was barking up the wrong tree.
We got married in April 1996. It was important to him to get married in the Catholic Church (because it was important to his parents). I could pretend; (um, hello, theater major). Since I had once been baptized in the church it was pretty easy, surviving the weekend long marriage retreat at the nunnery was not. It involved a lot of eye rolling and tongue biting.
Then came the wedding. Every god promise that was made had my girlfriends in my line giggling; I still think I owe them for that.
Sometime after that I told my family what I was. I didn’t sit them down or anything, it just kind of “came up”. My grandmother still thinks that it isn’t possible to be an atheist because “everyone believes in god” and my grandfather is in denial. My mom doesn’t really give a rat’s ass. It just isn’t worth arguing about with them.
I am like most atheists I know, in person and online, we are good people. We pay our taxes, we take care of our families, we donate to charity and we do these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen. Oh no wait, sorry Mormon Church flash back for a moment. We do these things not from fear of a deity that isn’t really there, or because if we don’t, Santa won’t come and give us presents. We do them because it is good for society, and it is good for ourselves. Our lives like any other can be snuffed out in a moment. We know there isn’t anything else, so we have to make this time great.
(Via Ungodly Cynic)
I grew up pretty much secular/agnostic, but essentially went with the flow growing up. Looking back, I remember reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in school (public) and now resent it. I never gave any thought to religion or spirituality until I started doing drugs (namely LSD) in college (Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale). I’ll add that I haven’t traveled down that road in quite a long time.
Religion was always a non-issue up until that point.
I’ve dabbled in mostly new age and pagan stuff; Wicca and Qabala for the most part. With all seriousness I was considering Qabala to be a system I could believe in, down to getting the robes, athame, and accessories. Then, I met my wife and all that dwindled away being replaced by agnosticism.
My in-laws are church-goers and I went to Christmas with them for a few years (Methodist). I didn’t care for it and knew it was a bunch of crap, my wife knew I felt that way, but I just didn’t care about church. It didn’t matter whether I went or not. I was just there.
Later, the in-laws decided they wanted to change their denomination to Episcopal (after some “goings-on” within the Methodist church there). My wife wasn’t happy. She wasn’t angry, she just didn’t like the change. Anyway, there was a little bit of friction regarding this “change”. Needless to say it all kinda ticked me off, I guess because of the whole situation in general, and I said, “To hell with all of it, no more.”
Since. I have only gone to church once, and that was a Christening, which I would not attend today. Note: I had not “come out” to anybody yet, but only in general conversations whereas I never said: “I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in God.”
A couple years down the road my father-in-law is over and we are partaking of some beers (I rather enjoy having a few beers with him and discussing politics and current events). Most of what I remember is just flat out telling him “I’m an atheist. I don’t believe…”, after getting into some debate about a secular issue. His answer was “I feel sorry for you.” My retort: “I feel sorry for you.” And I honestly do. That was the first time I ever came “out” and told somebody. Him and I are still on speaking terms and we still love to engage in political discussions. He’s pretty open-minded about that. Though he’ll never change his stance as a true-blue Blue Dog Democrat.
I might add that the whole religious issue arising within the political spectrum in the run-up to the 2000 presidential election really got me riled up. This prompted me to find out what these particular people stood for. And I found dirty truths that drove me further to disregard such jack-asses and…to tell the truth, this (religion and politics/separation of church and state), above all else drives me ideologically.
NOT whether a god exists or not, I could give a rat’s ass about that debate. I get so incensed reading blogs written by ex-Christians debating with Christians about the existence of god. What the hell is to be proven? Or disproven? One thing remains untouchable: faith. If one wants to believe in some fairy-tale, then so be it. One other thing remains untouchable: Don’t frickin’ shove it down my throat. Because I am free to believe what the hell I damn well please to believe.
Sorry, getting heated. Why am I getting heated? Because Christians (and I am lumping them altogether) do not see the cultural implications. They don’t see that the “foundation” of religion has influenced almost every aspect of society. That their inaction and complacency enables the problems that arise from putting trust into the hands of “faithful” politicians. I don’t know how to put it any other way. When our president starts speaking in code about a “crusade”, that should tell you something unless your brain-dead about history. When our dumb-ass president says “I looked into his eyes and saw a kindred spirit.” (speaking of Putin), the same man who said “I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn’t do my job.” Who does he think he is? The messiah? Seems some people do.
(Via Allen M)
I’m not that old, a little under 17. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, a few little patches of memory up until I was about nine of ten. I suppose I never believed in god, although my memory kicks in at nine, at this point I was a little scared because I didn’t get that ‘special feeling’ in church that people always talked about. I promptly freaked out, prayed as often as I could, carried a small bible with me, and generally did all the things good catholics do.
Eventually, in the Summer of 2002, we moved to a town called Visalia, California. My mother, both a Catholic and Republican, took me to a shop called ‘The Crystal Barn’. As you probably guessed, I was stunned at all these ‘alternative religion’ books. I picked up a few, and that started my spiritual marching. I guess it was just excellent timing, because we had just recently gotten a half decent computer, and my parents were letting me use the internet more and more. I studied Wicca, the LeVeyan Satanism (more accurately called Humanism with a dash of supernatural), and other various assorted religions.
For a time I went under the title of Wicca, my views at the time drawn more to the supernatural. Fast forward to the Winter of 2004, I had moved to Reno, Nevada within the last two months or so. I had heard the term Atheist mentioned once or twice, and my faith in a God and Goddess had wained severely. I can’t exactly say when I started calling myself an Atheist, but call myself I did, and for a while it was fine.
In mid-2005, my parents started going back to church again, and they signed me up for Sunday school (which, oddly enough, was on a Monday). Needless to say, I wasn’t very pleased. I guess it was around October, and my mother had picked me and my sister up. Somehow, the topic turned to Creationism, and I mentioned how I thought it was a load of crap, and had no scientific backing. My mother then asked a very direct question, do you believe in Evolution. Of course, all this is a dried up version, I mentioned that it made more sense, and there were lots of tears on her side. We got home and My mother, my father, and I all sat down and had a talk. Needless to say, there were a few more tears, and a few angry glares.
It is now mid-way through 2007, I am a proud Atheist who can hold his own in a debate with a Theist, be it about not having a god, or about my belief in Evolution. I suppose that if I had continued on my ‘dying to believe in god’ trend, I might not be in this world right now. But I didn’t, and I realized that is no way to view life. It is the only one I have, and I am damned well going to try to enjoy every minute of it, not spend it hunched over praying the next one is better.
(Via Giovanna Marchese)
I was always a very religious person. I was born into a Sicilian-Catholic family. I went to Catholic school and was the kid that always had questions on religion because so much of it didn’t make sense. But I was brainwashed very well and bought into it 100%.
Then the teen years hit. I met this wonderful Southern Baptist boy at 15. He brought me to his church. I loved it, but now more questions came up. How come his church puts down what my church believes in? Why do we have different beliefs? So I begin bible study with a friend who is Evangelical Christian. She teaches me so much and shows me all the great things God does and all the things I need to do to go to heaven. All these years of being a Catholic I thought I was going to heaven if I was good, then I learn it has nothing to do with being good, it has to do with saying a prayer that I swear to believe in Jesus as my savior.
So I head on down to my Catholic Church with bible in hand and full of knowledge of the bible. I talk to a priest at my church. I show him all this evidence, and ask tons of questions on why are these beliefs so different. I want to go to heaven, not hell, and I had to be sure I was making the right choice. After all I have to say to this priest he just has one thing to tell me, “If you believe in the bible, you can’t be a Catholic. It’s a choice you have to make.” A choice I have to make?!?!?! Isn’t there someone who can tell me “THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.” Oh, there are tons of different denominations that told me that as I set on my path to find the right church.
I became Southern Baptist till I later found out after being married to a Calvary Chapel Christian that having a denomination is a bad thing, that those are religions, not God! So I end up in a non-denominational church. Whew! I was safe now! I’m for sure going to heaven! Unfortunately my parents acted as though I was this criminal who sold my soul to, well, I’m not sure what they thought but they acted like I was a trader. Of course the people in the church told me that sometimes becoming a true Christian means sacrifices like losing one’s family. Well, I didn’t lose them, but they were hurt which really didn’t feel good to me. But I was learning what God wanted and he was my father too!!! Which father do I listen to?!?!? Ugh!!!
From Calvary Chapel to Harvest. You know Harvest? It’s Greg Laurie’s Church. He’s the Calvary Chapel run-away because he had better ideas I guess. All was going great. I had my daughter safely in a nice church. Oh, don’t get me wrong, she was baptized Catholic because I had to please my parents and I had to be sure she was safely going to heaven no matter who was right or wrong. Then one day something happened to me. I was now 28. Big trouble ahead. I realized I’m a lesbian. That’s another story in itself! But it took me 10 years to come out as a lesbian due to my fear of the lord and going to hell.
Now my relationship with God gets weird. How can I love a woman when God doesn’t want me to love a woman? How can I stay in a marriage and cause my husband to suffer when I was unable to have sex with him. It literally made me sick to my stomach! God insisted that I submit to him, but submitting made me ill! So he suffered. I ended up divorced of course. Harvest was too Evangelical for me and I left the church. Oh, I was still a very strong Christian, but now I conveniently realized the bible was just being interpreted wrong because it doesn’t talk about loving lesbian relationships, only about sex. So I chose to believe that God loved lesbians and I can be a Christian and a lesbian. After all, if God is a loving god, what is wrong with love?
At this point in life I was with a woman who is very Pagan oriented. Pagan? Wait, I heard of them in the bible! Weren’t they the bad people? That’s a religion?!?! You mean I left one out?!?! So into Wicca classes I go. Oh my f*cking god, this is like Catholic Church only with tons of gods AND goddesses! It was at this point my mind said, something is just way wrong here. People make up this crap! ALL OF IT! There is no god or goddess! There is us, humans, and the earth.
My studies turned to where religions come from. I learned it’s all made up. It’s all stories told so many times from thousands of years before a so-called savior called Jesus. These are all the same stories with different names. Religions evolved from ideas!!! Everyone conveniently made them fit their own lives. I went through a lot of heartaches losing my god. I felt very alone for a while. Mainly because after having the thought that someone was always with me, always listening to me, no matter what the world had in store for me, I thought he was there. Now I had no one but me when things went bad. It was scary!
BUT, guess what!?! I found ME! I was “born again” into knowing that I have control over me and my life and no one else does. Not any god and not any human. I had this new saying I love, “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me!” I found out I am a god or goddess. I am able to help others, save others and do good in this world. I get to make decisions by using my very own conscience. I get to be proud of the good I do and know I did it because I chose to do it.
My mission in life is to help wake up everyone to the dangers of theocracy and how it enslaves them. I think just about everyone who knows me knows I’m a Lesbian and an Atheist and I’m very proud of me! It was a long ride but I made it here safely, thank me!
I was Born from a human, became a Born Again Christian, “Came out” as a lesbian then as an Atheist and now I’m Born Again Me!