I am not able to be classified as an atheist in light of such ideas, but this is irrelevant in any case. At any rate I do not limit myself to being “godless” or “atheist”, as these are very much not any better than what religions provide us. My only concern is what is here right now, this very moment, and discovering all that I am able to of such things. Any study, as long as it provides a means to Truth, Knowledge, and an increase to my Being is a valid study at this point. Fantastic or not, religions have spoken of what we call scientific truths for thousands of years. We quite simply do not see it typically these days because of all the shrouding the ancients did upon the words and stories. Be sure though, that as I conduct my investigations, I am focused upon science heavily. The only difference between the science I use and the secular society, is that I boldly study EVERYTHING under this light, rather than a common tendency I see of casting things off as “superstition”, “myth”, “occult”, “fantasy”, “illusion”. For anything that exists, of which everything which we can refer to exists in some fashion, there is something there and the science I use is all about finding out what is happening, how it is happening, and why it is happening.

Now on to my story…

I grew up in a home which half advocated Christianity and of which the other half advocated free thinking and self-discovery. For the first many years of my life I supported Christianity as I was told horrifying stories that if I did not I would be banished to Hell. Feeling oppressed and not actually gaining any insight to the questions which raised in my mind from the free thinking avocation I had been receiving, I decided to break with church all together. A decision which would prove to lead me down a long and complex road of the human mind and the universe itself.

I remained silent to my Christian mother for many years as it was to be necessary for me to have formulated my thoughts well on religious manners before speaking of such departures with the church.

My first inclination was towards Wicca. This was inspired after a meeting with now one of my most treasured friends who is Wiccan. I never actually became a practitioner as the religion seemed to me just as void as the one I was looking to leave, but it did leave certain marks upon my mind. For the first time I had researched a faith outside of my own, and I started to notice commonality between faiths. As I was only 15 and inexperienced I did not formulate much theory at that time though.

My next steps were towards researching anything and everything I could get information on for religions and spirituality both common and hidden. Druidism, Buddhism, Zen, Taoism, Masonry, general Pagan thought, and so much more were all on the list of research.

Around the age of 17 though, I had a brief encounter with Satanism (like any proper rebellious teen would go to when seeking a departure with Christianity), which left another mark upon me. This was the first time I had encountered literature on practical magic. I very quickly saw the commonality this “magic” had with all the other faiths and how it also had very distinct psychological characteristics.

During this encounter with Satanism, another important happening occurred, I began reading some of the myth of the Hindu faith. When I read the story of Arjuna and noticed how it is virtually identical in every way to that of the story of Moses, my mind began to race. My first discourse was to say that surely the Jews or the Hindi plagiarized. As the study of myth, magic, and religion continued however, I found it quite improbable that plagiarism was the solution. All of this investigation did depart me from Christianity for a time, as it was simply a vague concern to all other research.

Having had all this prior experience, I managed next to find Carl Jung and Quantum Physics. Jung’s theory of Synchronicity and the strange facets of Quantum starting giving me enough of a foundation for me to form my own belief system, which I had been searching after for literally years by this time. I was just as lost for a time after finding this foundation as I had ever been. This being due to stepping into a territory of self-responsibility I had never had before. I was suddenly responsible for the contents of my mind and how I viewed the world and I finally knew this fact!

What ended up developing (to hurry this story along a little bit), was a theory which is somehow both devout to deities of all varieties and at the same moment atheist. How this works is as follows: 1) God is but a title to the very real and verifiable objective truths of the universe. 2) The exact name of this title (e.g. God or otherwise), is irrelevant until much other work has been gone through. 3) Based on the previous two points the idea of God and the Universe itself are identical and either name can be used based upon one’s personal preference. This theory is steeped deeply in mysticism and spirituality, magic, and what is perhaps most important of all science! The only difference between the science of so much of the world and the variety I use is on a matter of empiricism. I accept Jung’s theory of empiricism, meaning that I accept the subjective experience which I have as a valid form of study. The goal is objectivity of course, but the system of science I use gives recognition to the imperfection of my perceptions, and that by also studying these imperfections I may get closer to actual objective truth which I would hope is the goal of any scientist!

I am a working scientist, though I am quite low in the pecking order, so to speak. I am a lowly post-doctoral researcher, with not much academic activity (or rather, activity, period!) outside of the lab for lack of time. But I do have a passion for science and scientific thought, and value science education tremendously.

I don’t know if my story would sound familiar. Not too long ago, I was a believer. Perhaps you may have guessed from my name – I am an Indian, born to and raised by parents who practise the Hindu religion. But to them, the Hindu religion (I avoid the term ‘Hinduism’) was not at all about the kind of teeth-gnashing, attention-clamoring, mosque-destroying, intemperate, uncivil, hooliganism that has become the face of Hindu-ism in modern India. To them, it was a philosophy; a unifying theme of ‘One God – many manifestations’ – that easily included the God-heads of other religions of the world; a kind, understanding, all-embracing way of life, that taught temperance, the value of life and love, and worship through discharge of duties to the fellow human being. It was such a basic and deep understanding that they never stood on ceremonies and rituals. Growing up in this environment, I never really felt any clash between my spirituality and my science, because I felt that the two belonged to two completely different non-intersecting planes.

It was in the past ten to fifteen years or so, when the world situation began to change around me, that I acutely became aware of a disconnect. I saw people killing and being killed in the name of religion; I found a growing sentiment of ‘my religion is the best; the rest are all hogwash’. I watched with horror religious observances taking such precedence in people’s lives that they oftentimes forgot, or started ignoring, the basic, fundamental qualities that make us human, including logic and reason. I was shocked and amazed to see the so-called religious leaders tout faith as the panacea to all problems, when clearly blind, unreasoning faith was inciting more hatred and mindless violence in many parts of the world.

I thought, “This cannot be right! If there is a God who cares, this is not the kind of madness that should be pervading mankind!” It shook the foundations of my beliefs, and I started deconstructing religion with cold, hard logic. Soon it all came away unravelled to me; I found that religion had nothing to do with a higher power or divinity. Instead, it was fraught with the basest human inequities, craze for power, greed, lust, subjugation through fear and guilt. The rest was all myths built by humans around this core to give it a lasting aura of respectability and prestige. And this was not unique to any particular religion; all of them, Hinduism, Judea-Christianity, Islam, even lesser-known religions of the world, were full of hypocrisy and glaring inconsistencies. I understand that morality and ethics, in order to be viable guidelines for a way of life, did not really need the crutches of religion and observances; on their own, they could survive as eminently sound logical and reasonable practices to build a life around. It did not take me long thereafter, to renounce any contact with organized religions. It must have pained my parents; but they were gracious enough to leave me to my thoughts, rather than try to impose theirs on mine.