Comments on: Surrounded By Christians

By: Chris S

Chris S — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 00:38:30 +0000

Just a word to all of you who are 17 or 18:

Up to this point in your life, your world has been rather small and has contained a very limited number of people. This is about to change. Soon you will leave home, go to college or get a job, and the circle of people you know will expand greatly.

In other words, you may f e e l alone now in your atheism/agnosticism, but you're not!

:-)

By: Peter

Peter — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 14:54:54 +0000

So if everything is predetermined, why do you even bother getting out of bed in the morning?

By: James

James — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:42:10 +0000

Tom, I can relate to the close ties with friends of a former faith. Also, read Got Away Twice -good stuff, Contantine.

For some reason, I always asked if someone is going to hell for an un-belief, shouldn't believers love 'em just the same while they're around -sort of with a mutual respect with boundaries sort of approach. -Its all a short-coming of a very narrow view, I see now, so they can't even do that in many cases.

But I've always thought of things with several degrees of meaning. Can't even say I'm functioning quite right, but I'm getting better. So, yeah, its tuff, but that doesn't mean atheism isn't the answer you need or that some time in deism isn't good. I'm atheist. You got to do what's right for you. Think sanity.

Here are some random thoughts and challenges: Enjoy that youthful libido, I wish I had more of mine not lost or overshadowed by the arbitrary values I held too long. (I'm 31 and still have 'magic powers,' ha ha: And yet, for all that, I am still more naive than I would hope to be at this age -which complicates relationships a little, as my last girlfriend proved.) Carry a mouth guard in your pocket which covers top and bottom teeth, if you want to go get in fights. : ) Believe in 'raincoats' and some discretion -only, if your not complete straight edge -no judgment, either way. Best to you.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 04:27:26 +0000

I'm a little late, but I wanted to say II have an eerily similar story. I was homeschooled for the entirety of my education, I'm 17 and will be 18 in September, and my best friends are all hardcore Christian. I know exactly what you mean about making other friends. I've known my two closest friends since we were children and they're honestly like a second family. Fortunately, they're pretty cool about my beliefs. My parents, on the other hand, are worried about my eternal destiny and such, which breaks my heart because I hate making them feel like they've failed in some way.

By: Constantine

Constantine — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 13:36:37 +0000

Tom, yeah, looks like ExChristian lost my story. I reposted it there and then I posted it on this site. Wow, there was no developed Christian punk scene back in the 80's that we knew about. That's funny about those Christian punkers being wasted! I've met so many people like that in High School! … the two friends I was telling you about eventually got way into drugs. I stayed friends with one of them all the way up until about two years ago. Even though his lifestyle was totally not evangelical, he still always had that worldview. I've helped him as much as I possibly could over the years, but I think that his religious views are actually hurting him at this point. He thinks that either he's doing God's will or Satan's will. So if he's a little bit bad, he figures he may as well be very bad. Also he's confused because he thought that since he's "saved" horrible things shouldn't happen to him. He had this crap beaten into his brain when he was young and now it's doing a lot of damage. I've decided that if he asks me for help again I'm going to have to deprogram him first!

Peace!

By: Tom

Tom — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:33:59 +0000

Hey man. This is Tom. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it. I'm just glad to know there is/ was someone out there with a story some what like mine. Its funny you bring up the term " Christian punk" because when i first fell in the scene i listened to a bunch of Christian punk bands. (still do to some) Flatfoot 56, Head noise, ect…
I also go to a music fest every year called cornerstone (maybe ya heard of it)
So that's another reason i am friends with so many Christians I guess. Its funny because I was at a show just a few days ago and these 2 guys in a Christian hardcore/punk band were drunk off they're asses! So was one of the guys girl friend who is also a Christian. The other guy snuck off in the bath room with TWO girls! Haha just thought that was funny. I never got into drinking or drugs myself and i am indeed straight edge.

I tried looking up your story but it was 404'd…I was pretty disappointed.

Also THANK YOU to everyone that commented my story!

(Except the person that tried telling me about predestination. Something i already know much about)

By: John Wayne

John Wayne — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:18:30 +0000

I've "given myself to Christ" no fewer than 7 times over a period of 12 years. It never sticks, as I read the bible and, well, you know…and I can fully related to your story (only I'm 29 with two babies). most of my extended family are fundamentalist leaning; good people mind you, but very "conservative" in belief. Anyway, I've been therebefore, and once you move out and go to University or whatever you plan on doing, it'll get better. I don't rely on religion anymore, I just focus on taking care of my family (oh wait, we have no family values, haha!). Also, find the Brother Inferior discography CD, that was my first exposure to atheism; they're a hardcore band from Oklahoma that existed in the late 90's, they have some great godless anthems :O)

By: Constantine

Constantine — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:46:49 +0000

Oh, my deconversion story is called "Got Away Twice" at Exchristian.net.

By: Contantine

Contantine — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:42:42 +0000

Tom, Holy crap, you’re telling my story, dude. Only I’m 40 years old and all that stuff happened when I was your age. I wasn’t home schooled (I don’t even think it was legal back then), but my parents were intensely evangelical and all of their friends were too. I too was subjected to endless evangelical sermons, Sunday school, Christian classes, youth group, outings, house church, etc. etc. Totally surrounded!
I had doubts by age 10, but I couldn’t let anyone know. I was convinced that my parents would send me to a psych ward or disown me. So I lived in constant fear and had no one to talk to (that was before internet!).
When I was about 14 or 15 I too discovered hardcore/punk. So did two close friends of mine from my parents’ church. We actually formed our own Christian punk band. They didn’t know that I was actually an atheist. You’re probably one of the few people who could understand why I did this and didn’t just dump them as friends.
I’m doing great today, in fact I’m an extremely happy person, and have been for a long time. And I’m still an atheist and my siblings and parents are still evangelicals. The thing that I want to tell you, though, is what I wish I could have told myself when I was your age; In no time flat, you’ll be out of the house, on your own and you’ll be your own person. You’ll probably still be in contact with your Christian buddies, but you’ll find much better friends that you get along with better. Incidentally, my Christian punk buddies became extremely messed up and as far as I know, they are still very messed up and unhappy.
I had an extremely difficult time. The whole evangelical thing messed me up so, so bad. I had to hide and stuff my feelings and learn how to shut down emotionally. I partied way more than I should have and got into a lot of trouble.
Eventually, I managed to straighten myself out. I wish I would have known mature non-believers that I could’ve talked to about all of this stuff when I was your age. Just to have confirmation that it’s okay to be yourself. Also, that my parents didn’t mean to harm me – they themselves were taken over and victimized by evangelicalism. Instead of calmly assessing my situation, I reacted against them with hostility and hatred for what I was put through. I had to work all that stuff out before I could move on.
Tom, just try to have fun. Go to tons of punk shows and do everything you want to do. You’re only 17 once. All the crap you’re going through will end one day and you’ll be free from the shackles of religion and religious people.

Check out my full deconversion story at Exchristian.net

Peace.

By: Dave Nohle

Dave Nohle — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:57:39 +0000

My last couple of years in a Catholic high school, I stayed in the closet about my (non)beliefs. I relate to your story. So now I'm in my 50's and this year I joined a atheist/skeptic group on Meetup.com and have gotten to know a number of other people who welcome this kind of discussion. Take heart and good luck fellow doubter!