(Via Jennifer Curtis)
I never really bought the whole “god” thing. From an early age my family went to mass on special occasions, or to participate in family functions. My mother and father only took us to church out of some weird traditional obligation, and the first memories of youth services were of choreographed song and dances with oppressive themes like spelling out the word “obey” and lame music. Around 13 or so my mother threatened me with private catholic school and I told her I’d drop out if she did (there were no music programs in this private school).
When I reached high school I made friends with a bunch of nice girls who all attended a Methodist church across the street from my house. Since it was right next door, and all my friends went there and my parents supported me in this, I went regularly. The people there were all very nice and helped the community out quite a bit, but I never felt any different than before. I never experienced any presence in my life, nothing got better or worse because of it. I did meet some very special people out of this place who have made a very big difference in my life.
During my “church” years, I avoided involving myself too deeply with these people, as nice as they were. I never signed up for mission work or participated in their musicals (even as a musician), I just couldn’t make myself. Somehow, even though it was the “right” thing to do, it felt wrong. So I eventually stopped going, and only showed up for “holidays.”
During all my education, I learned of all the horrible things that were done in the name of “god” and religion across the world. Coming to age right after 9/11, I’ve witnessed enough of my own to take interest. I read and researched endlessly. I discovered the biggest lie ever… GOD. Why can’t everyone else see that their god was created to control them? Their is no after-life where you get to party with your whole family, pets and all, looking and feeling great… You only get one time… Do what comes natural, it’s okay to be human…
I never had a really bad “church” experience, and during my earlier years, all the people I met because of it were good people. I just paid attention in my history classes and asked questions. Science can answer almost any question I’ve come up with, and is continually answering more everyday. Logic and reason seem to be the only things you can’t use with god… you can’t ask “why?” and get an answer. It just doesn’t make any sense…
(Via jono)
From the early years, I vaguely remember going to church and getting in trouble from the Sunday School teacher for not bringing my quarter to put in the little Church-Piggy Bank.
My parents took us out of that church, but my sister and I were going to a Lutheran school where we had to go to chapel everyday. This inane process was only fun because we tried to say obscene things at higher and higher volumes to see who could get away with yelling “Penis!” at the top of his lungs.
We stopped going there after I completed kindergarten (yes, we were yelling “Penis!” in kindergarten. I spent a lot of time in the Principal’s office) and we didn’t start going to church again until I was in 4th grade.
To be honest, I think it was this time off that saved me. I imagine these are quite formative years in a child’s life. Years in which Sunday School teachers literally beat the word of their god into you. I remember looking around at all my friends and feeling completely alone and dark in a big scary world because I was the only one that didn’t know off the top of my head that it was DANIEL that was sent into the lion’s den, not Claude Balls.
Throughout Middle and High School I was very involved in the youth group and youth choir at my church, and I enjoyed it very much. However I still just ducked away from the “How’s your walk with Jesus going?” or “Do you do your devotions every day?” questions. I just enjoyed being around a bunch of girls in the youth group.
In college I went through some non-Christian activities, such as rugby team beer chugging fests and what-not. After college, my sweetheart and I were married (It’s been about a year and a half now. Old married couple…) and we were going to church in our town. I was paying attention in church and reading my Bible and making notes, underlining Jesus’ statements that I thought might be useful when telling my possible future kids how to live.
Then, it kind of all came crashing down. I started thinking about the whole thing. I read The Golden Compass and heard about how evil Philip Pullman is. I started reading about atheism and learning that it was, in fact, NOT evil. Then I realized it. I’ve been an atheist all this time and never knew it. I always thought that there was no way there was a dude up in the sky listening to me. The first time I heard about evolution, I bought it hook, line, and sinker. It all made so much sense, whereas Christianity never did.
So there you have it. You know how some religious folks tell you that Jesus is already in your life, you just have to notice him and weird shit like that? It’s the exact opposite for me. And I am proud to say that I am an atheist.
It is one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.
(Via liz)
i have always been a non believer. my father is a physicist so you can do the math there. i guess as a kid i went thru the motions of praying before a meal and praying before bed because i thought i was supposed to. i didn’t know that it was something that connected to the world of religion. you know, they teach kids to pray but not why. all my friends did it so i did too. i always knew i didn’t believe in god, but didn’t know how to articulate it until high school when the other students started asking me about it. so i am an atheist…always have been.
(Via Csaba)
My mother was a caring parent. Hard-working and always ready to kiss the forehead of any of her two sons if he made a mistake and say “It’s okay, Mom loves you no matter what”.
She had breast cancer once and somehow made it through, when I was a small kid, with support from my father. Then, after a few years, it appeared again and this time, she knew she couldn’t survive the chemotherapy. She cried in front of me because she knew she was going to die. I prayed and I prayed and she still died bereft of her dignity because she was a completely different (eventually half-) person by the time the cancer had spread to her brain. She died weighing 90 lbs. (40 kg) at 5′ 8” (172 cm), almost having no hair at age 41. Our prayer didn’t work.
My father supported my mother as much as he could and although he eventually became an incurable alcoholic, he never laid his hand on any of us. He also smoked, liked Chuck Norris movies and was very proud of the last batch of red/white wine mix he home-made from the grapes growing in our yard. His work was hard, he changed jobs a few times in his last 5 years.
Three factors finally did him in: smoking (stiff blood vessels), red wine (high blood pressure) and his change of jobs, from fixing refrigerators for 25 years to carrying 120 lb. (55 kg) air conditioning units up some stairs, 3-4 stories, which was too much for his 48-year-old heart. I called him on his birthday and wished him “May God give you a long life!” as it is customary around here. He died about 36 hours later, having had a heart attack (myocardial infarct) during the night. All those times I prayed for the well-being of my family didn’t count.
The priest said the same old lines at their funerals, about eternal life etc. but I believed less and less and now, having read “God Is Not Great” by Christopher Hitchens, my puzzle is coming together rather coherently and God is not in it.
(Via russellnation)
It was a cold dreary 5th grade catholic school Wednesday morning required mass. My eyes filled with sleep. The moment reached when we were all supposed to kneel and pray. As I leaned forward to kneel, my brain screamed in astonishing insight that it was all a farce and no sense was to be made from it. I never looked back.
(Via damiank)
I’m a college dropout, but in my first year, i took anthropology 101. The professor said something similar to this: “If you are determined to believe in Adam and Eve, there’s the door” (pointing to the door). From that moment, I’ve been fascinated with human evolution. I’m a Cajun catholic, so I guess I believed that atheists were evil. Since i can remember, I’ve never been fond of church, and failed catechism, but still convinced myself that I had a personal relationship with god. Until age 26, I would kneel and pray at my bed asking for forgiveness for the past, present and future so I would be covered, in case I forgot to pray. After hearing of many scandals, and seeing the hypocrisy at the local church, I started to really question things. Why do men go to church, then walk out and say “look at that ni**er”? That’s not too Christ like. One night while preparing to pray, I asked myself, “what am I doing?, what’s going to happen to me if I skip this?” So, the experiment was on; no more praying. My life started to clear up, and I realized that I was in control, and that I haven’t been struck by lightning yet. I remember getting excited, like being released from a minimum security prison or something. It took awhile, but I saw the light.